We won't sleep together?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
