Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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