dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
