doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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