Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
