i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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