Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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