The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
