Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
