ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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