at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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