We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
