I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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