i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
