Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
