you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
