Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
