Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She said her name was "party"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
