If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
