Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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