I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
