oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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