Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
