did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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