I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This gyro tastes like lonliness
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
