if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
