Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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