Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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