i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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