yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
