So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
