I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
