he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
