A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
