just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
