yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think my vagina is haunted
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize