im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
