How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
