I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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