The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
