I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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