hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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