a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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