yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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