Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
