I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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