We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
