So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
