Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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