sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And then he peed in my hair
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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