Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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