we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
