...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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