i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize