Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
