Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
