How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the liver wants what the liver wants
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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