I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
