so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
